MMVT Introduction 2014

MMVT 2014

It is the time of year where all bike teams appear to be doing the launch of their 2014 line ups and it seemed a shame for our squad of carefully assembled pedal bashers to miss out.  So, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls please welcome the members of MMVT 2014!

DBH

 Forever tinkering with scientific experiments that never quite work out the way it was hoped, DBH has followed suit with his bikes that have been lovingly acquired through the pages of Ebay and then adjusted ad infinitum thereafter.  In particular, this tends to involve mid ride adjustment of mud guards to ensure that they are releasing water at the perfect angle to hit the rider behind square in the face.  All this, whilst bearing in mind he has never had to take his back wheel off the frame and is unaware exactly how this is done.

Recently seen purchasing a new bike, there were fears that his best days may be behind him but having performed extra training in the winter months DBH is set on breaking some of his records this year.

R1

Having twins on the team may pose challenges for both fans and the riders from other teams in tracking the correct riders.  

However, R1 and R2 both have their own distinct styles out on the bike and their position in the group normally allows for easy identification for those who struggle with their identical looks.

Whilst on the flat both R1 and R2 take their fair share of time in the wind in support of fellow riders it is when the road changes from the horizontal that true identity is exposed.

R2

R2 is often seen at the front on climbs buoyed on by the enthusiastic encouragement of his twin.  This takes the form of a customary greeting as R2 passes on the way to the front that we assume must be a childhood code that can’t quite be deciphered by those around.

When the road slopes in the opposite direction R1 comes into his own moving to the  head of the group with another customary war cry of “GRAAVVIIITTTTYYYYY” that brings fear to those ahead.

Whilst R2 is given the notional title of “Top Dog” everyone knows it is R1 who is rightly both the inspiration for MMVT and really pulling the strings.

G

Individual?  Yes.  Unusual? Yes [Check out his music and video collection!].  From another planet? Unproven.  What is sure is that MMVT’s G frequently looks to the other members as if he has been shot out of a cannon as he disappears into the distance like an excitable terrier chasing a rabbit.

Given G had requested Gonzo decals for his bike long before the tests were complete, some have talked of potential foul play in this role being allocated. 

However we are assured that this was a clean result.

As if having twins was not hard enough MMVT 2014 comprises triplets also!  Three identical riders but all with slightly different aspects of the underlying personality.

A1

Like the testing machine at the IKEA draw manufacturing plant, A1 simply repeats the same piston like action again and again and again.  Pounding the pedals with the same cadence regardless of hill or descent, rain or shine, Ant or Dec…

A1 is frequently seen at the front of the group or more accurately just in front of the front of the group who have dropped back when the road hit vertical.

Benefitting from his alpine training camp last year he lives by the Motto of why change down a gear; push harder.  His gear levers are second in the list of most redundant things behind a motorbike's ashtray.

 

 A2

Prone to bouts of inactivity and apparent quietness, when A2 jumps into a Facebook thread everyone knows they are in for the long haul.  The conversation will continue far beyond the usual levels of checking are we going out on Saturday and organising a rough meeting point into a chain of conversation that sucks people in.

Whilst this may be hard to spot whilst actually out on the bike (and A2 has never actually made it out onto the bike) it may be easier to say that A2 is the only female in the group.  Whilst not wanting to be out with the rest of the bunch may explain why she has never made it out onto the bike with the rest of us, it is maintained that the fact she lives 100 miles away is the primary cause.

                    A3

A man of few words but definite actions.  

A3 is now renown within MMVT for declaring himself unfit to ride Etape Mercia’s relatively flat 63 miles only to then complete Etape Cymru’s definitely not flat 88 miles four weeks later.  The fact that somebody else took the time to do the entry process for him may have helped but nevertheless that is some achievement.

It also helps that A3 actually has played the drums!

L

To be honest, we don’t know either…he is not seen very often but when he was seen he definitely lived up to the MMVT label by pushing his bike over the finish line of Etape Cymru with its completely flat tyres.  He would have changed them and ridden but he had used all of his tubes having already repaired a few punctures en route.  Chapeau!

W

In my mind Statler and Waldorf are not grumpy men who have no ideas how to enjoy themselves.  Instead, like MMVT’s W, they are perfectionists for whom if a job is worth doing it is worth doing well, properly and only after hours and hours of painstaking research to make sure nobody can in any way doubt the outcome.

The only member of MMVT to have tri bars and the full team sky kit (on sale at Adidas Cheshire Oaks just before the Tour de France win!), W is unlikely to be seen on a ride unless certain they can complete the course in a respectable time following months of training.  If only his competition was stiffer he could be a world beater; or a hermit.  One of the two.

P

MMVT’s newest member is used to hiding under his shell and the days of mountain biking and long round trip commutes have certainly resulted in a talent being kept out of sight.  Last seen sprinting off towards the hills after a particularly fast lead out on the flat part to Overton this is one crustacean we are all hoping does repeat.

That Ladies and Gentlemen is the MMVT group for 2014.  

There are obviously more members who didn’t complete the Buzzfeed “Which Muppet are you?” test without whom Saturday mornings would not be the same but their identities are being withheld.  Probably at their own request.

If you see us out on the road, say “Hi”, say “Waka Waka” or like most passing motorists shout “Muppet!!” as loudly as you can.  It acts as fuel.

(PS as you can tell, no expense was incurred in the creation of the team photos :-))